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Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

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My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

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If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

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If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

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Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

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If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

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